From Nicole:
Okay, this particular blog entry has been this whole year in the making, and I am not sure I have got my head around it yet, but wanted to share it with you anyway. Those of you who know me well, know that I like to be pretty on top of things. Living in suburban Saratoga County in NY, I was one of the moms of the ballet class that people would call to make sure they had everything they needed for the recital. I took it as a personal responsibility to know what was going on- especially with my kids! I am sure you know the type, if in fact you are not one of us yourself, we are the home-room moms in class, we help out with PTA, our kids come to AWANA prepared with what they need that night and their verses learned, our husband's travel schedule and what he will need for each trip is committed to memory, if there is an event that we are hosting, we know far in advance what we will be serving, we pride ourselves on knowing how those around us take their coffee without having to ask, and a huge insult to us is if a new friend's birthday comes along and we didn't know it ahead of time! Seriously, that was me! I didn't think about it a whole lot in my former NY life, it is just how I was, how I mothered and how I was as a wife and friend. In fact I wouldn't think about it much now except that it is 180 degrees different from who I am now! There are a lot of reasons- one glaring reason is the language difference! But also the demands on my time are so different now- being in school all the time, actually having tests and homework again, getting around without a vehicle with 4 kids usually headed in different directions, etc. etc.
In fact in our first months here in France my mom and sister would just sit silent on the phone after I had answered their question with an "I don't know" - finally my sister told me she just isn't used to hearing me say that, especially over everyday things. It has gotten a little better but even questions like: do the kids have school on Saturday? ( a normal thing in France but not every Saturday) or does Jake have a soccer game on Wednesday? does Shane have a favorite song he sings in school? is tomorrow a national holiday or not? even is the repair man coming or not? or can I make a deposit at the bank today? These all seem like simple enough questions- any good mom would know the answer yet even after "talking" to people in this new language of mine (teachers, coaches and the like) my answer would be "Je ne sais pas!" or I don't know.
You can imagine the distress this puts on a woman like me- to have to say- I just don't know and really my prospects of actually knowing are very slim. This was really nailed home the other day when my 3 year old came home from school dressed as a "petit poussin" or a little chick. Not only had he created the costume but the whole school had costumes on, 
each pre-school class a different baby animal and they had done a parade where they got to throw confetti all around and march over to the elementary school where Jake and Clarisa attend! All without my knowing! I don't have to write to tell you that there were tears that day- I had missed it because I didn't know! I am sure it was in the reams of paper we get home from school which just look to me like pages and pages of work since I have to translate it all, but I had missed it (please pray with me that Shane is not scarred from this- but seriously isn't he the cutest petit poussin you have ever seen!)
Shortly after that episode and before I had recovered, I was listening to Beth Moore's series on Romans. Now remember I had been (and actually still am) reflecting on the concept of knowing or in my case more frequently lately- not knowing. The lesson that day started with "wouldn't it be great if we just knew that..." of course cynically I am thinking, yes I would be happy to chalk anything up to knowing right now! But as she taught through Romans 8 her point was: what if we really lived like we knew that 1. my redeemer lives 2. I know whom I have believed in and am persuaded that He is able and 3. God causes all things to work together for good.
God brought me comfort that day in the fact that there are a lot of things in this new life that I do not know- (I don't know if I will ever get used to that fact, I will let you know) BUT and this is a huge BUT- I know the important things- among others-
I KNOW my Redeemer lives-
I KNOW who I believe in- and a sincere AMEN to the fact that
I KNOW God causes all things to work together for good- maybe not today or this week but I KNOW by faith that if He said He will do- then He will do it. I KNOW this.
So the journey continues. I am rejoicing in the fact that there a few things now that I do know, but at the same time I am trying to give the hords of things I don't know to God and rest in the facts about God and His character that I do know.