DAVE: I realized this week that we have not talked a lot about women in these church updates. In fact, I (who take full credit for this one) have generally sidestepped the issue entirely. However, I read an editorial this week that jolted me back to reality and made me realize that there are issues that might be valuable to at least bring to the table so that you are aware of some of the dynamics present in the American church.

Before joining WorldVenture I was a pastor for thirty years. Toward the end of that time, I remember looking out at the congregation one Sunday and realizing how different the “landscape” was than say, 20 years ago, when it came to the women sitting in the pews. For one thing, the “family unit” had been redefined, and several single parent families now populated the sanctuary. Another change I noticed was the level of professional accomplishment among the women: I saw one mother who is CEO of a software company she started, another who is head of the county’s mental health board, a mom who takes the train downtown everyday to trade commodities at the stock exchange, and another who is a VP for Morton Salt. Another difference I noted was the number of single women, as the average marriage age among U.S. Christians creeps higher and higher, influenced by a number of factors. There were some stay-at-home moms in the pews, to be sure, but they were few and far between.

When I started talking to some of the women about my observations, what I heard from many women was the tension they felt between their place in the business world and their role in the church. During the week they were on the job where they felt respected as leaders and sought after as team players; once inside the doors of the church, they experienced a disconnect as they set aside the ambition and drive that carried them so well in the marketplace in order to comply with the expectation—as they perceived it—to quietly play a supporting role.

I share this with you simply to make you aware—if you are not already—that this tension and frustration exists today among evangelical women in the U.S. In bringing this to your attention I am not advising that you as missionaries address this issue with your churches. However, as you partner with local churches, I do think it is valuable to know that the landscape has changed.

SUZANNE: Since it was an editorial about a wildly popular book among Christian women that sparked Dave’s thoughts, I thought I’d contribute a few notes about the book in question. In 2001, author and speaker John Eldredge struck a chord with Christian men with his book, Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul. Four years later, John and his wife Stasi came back with Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul, which “promises to do for women what Wild at Heart did for men.” Family Christian Stores, one of the nation’s largest retailers of Christian merchandise, named Captivating their 2006 Book of the Year, and almost a year and a half after its release, the book has come in at number one on Publishers Weekly’s Hardcover Religion Bestsellers list for the past three months.

All of that to say, more than likely Captivating has found its way to the bedside tables of many women in your partnering churches. The book’s perspective on women and femininity has been applauded and embraced by some, and heavily criticized by others. Whatever your opinion of the book (and you can read mine below), the point is that this book has captured the attention of women in the church and sparked new conversations about the nature of femininity and what it means to be created female in the image of God. Again, we’re not suggesting that it’s your responsibility as missionaries to jump into this conversation, but we want you to be aware of the buzz, and mindful of the perspective you as a cross-cultural worker might lend to an issue that can become alarmingly culture-bound. Women, if you’ve read Captivating, or had conversations with women who have, we’d love to hear your thoughts.

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BUILDING LADDERS
Have you ever heard an illustration that just sticks with you? You remember it for years, and if you are like me, you even use it in a sermon or two. Well, one of those persistent illustrations I heard many years ago was about ladders.

The story was told of a tragic fire on the East coast in which many people died. They died for one reason and one reason alone—when the fire department arrived on the scene, they discovered that their ladders were too short to reach the people on the upper floors of the apartment building. The simple point: when you do not have ladders long enough to reach troubled people, you will see great tragedy.

I do not remember when or where I heard this illustration, but I do remember it was used in a sermon about Jesus’ way of doing ministry, and specifically his activity in the fourth chapter of John’s Gospel. There Jesus “built a ladder” to a Samaritan woman. Jesus did this simply by having a conversation with her. He talked with her openly and honestly about her life. Jesus was confrontational, but there was something in his manner that allowed a ladder to be built, inviting the woman into a most unlikely conversation with a man, and a Jewish man at that.

Jesus was always building ladders to reach people. He built a ladder to Mary, Martha, Zachaeus, and Levi. Levi then turned around and did the same thing in Luke 5:27-30. Wherever Jesus went he always had the words, the insights, the deeds, the touches that people needed. He built ladders that were long enough to reach them in their distress. Sometimes it was a meal invitation extended to a person on the fringe, other times it was acute interest in the curious and needy people that crossed his path. Jesus was always finding ways to build ladders in order to reach the people around him.

God has given us a mission in the world. The mission is impossible to undertake if we do not build ladders long enough to reach the people to whom we are called to bring the message. In other words, I am suggesting that one can know the truth and be willing to share the truth, but if we don’t arrive on the scene with ladders that are long enough, the message will never reach those in need of rescue. I love to see the church in this analogy—the church as a group of ladder builders, reaching out to people who are troubled, who need a word from God. It is incumbent that the church—that is, you and I—figure out how to build ladders to those God has placed in our lives.

I know of a missionary who uses basketball to build a ladder to youth, a couple who uses their musical abilities, and yet another who uses her deep passion for children. I can think of missionaries who use literacy, soccer, drama, and myriad other materials to “build ladders” in order to reach the people around them. It is amazing to think of all the different kinds of ladders people have built over the years. Ladder building must continue to be our practice if the gospel is going to be heard in our generation.

Vincent, a foster child in my home many years ago, is now in prison. I suggested that he go and hear Manny Mill when he came to speak in the prison chapel. Manny uses his pain and experience in prison to build a ladder to prisoners. Vincent wrote to me, “Hey, that man knows the deal! He’s been where I am at and I love to hear him talk. He talked to us straight about God. Thanks for connecting me with him.” Manny built a ladder with the pain in his own life so that God’s word could have a hearing.

Are you a ladder builder? I am sure that you are. Ladder builders—that’s what we all must be.

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“Before we examine the evidence of the truth of Christianity, I need to point out an inconsistency of those who are careless about the truth. Yet it is vital to them, for it intimately affects their lives. Of all their miscalculations, this is what most blatantly shows up their blind folly. It is this: This present life is momentary, but the state of death is eternal. How terribly important it is, then, to live in the light of the eternal, since it ultimately affects all that we do or think! Since nothing is more obvious than this observation, how absurd it is to behave differently.”
- Blaise Pascal, Introduction, The Mind on Fire (the Pensées Rearranged)

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Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul
by John & Stasi Eldredge 2005 Nelson Books (Reviewed by Suzanne Johnson)

The three-fold thesis of Captivating mirrors the ideas presented in Eldredge’s book for men, Wild at Heart. While Wild at Heart contends that “in the heart of every man is a desperate desire for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue,” the message of Captivating is that “every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty.” On the surface these assertions certainly sound intriguing, and frankly, almost exhilarating. It’s no wonder Christian men (whom Eldredge diagnoses as bored) and women (pegged as tired) are drawn to these books that promise explanations and propose outlets for the desires we feel as men and women.

However, there is much about the Eldredges’ reasoning and theology that should concern the discerning Christian reader. I do not pretend to have anything new to add to the critiques that have been written in that direction, and encourage you to read an excellent review written by Donna Thoennes, Ph.D., assistant professor at Biola University.

What I would like to note, however, is how alarmingly culture-bound this book is in its presentation and assertions. Reading Captivating—and later discussing the book with a group of young women from my church—made me realize just how much working with missionaries has influenced the lens through which I view the world. The Eldredges make sweeping statements about every little girl and every woman, and yet over and over I found myself thinking things like, “That statement would sound ludicrous to a woman in Uganda,” or “This idea would be completely alien to a little girl in Cambodia,” or “A missionary in Turkey could produce evidence to negate that claim in a minute.”

The problem is that rather than starting with God and what he has to say about himself and about women in Scripture, the enduring Word to all nations, the Eldredges start with women—and especially women who exist only in the novels, movies, songs, and fairytales of the U.S. and the West—and then suggest what their deepest desires and inclinations tell us about God. I don’t need to tell you how dangerous that is, not only from a theological standpoint, but in terms of reinforcing a kind of religious ethnocentrism among American women that says “My experience of femininity and how it relates to my faith in Christ is the norm.” I realize I sound extreme, but I do not think I am exaggerating here. Not one of the women with whom I discussed this book—and they are godly, intelligent Christian women for whom I have a lot of respect—had considered how ill the Eldredges' arguments would stand up in another culture or country. As we talked, one woman who had been deeply moved by the book made the comment, “I felt like they wrote this book just for me.” Yes, and that’s part of the problem.

Though it is easy to criticize, I do want to say that one positive takeaway of Captivating is the reminder that only God can satisfy our deepest longings and desires, for he created us to be complete only in him. As women, looking to the media, to friends, to our earthly fathers, to men, or to the mirror to tell us who we are and what we are worth will ultimately leave us disappointed, hurt, and empty. The authors suggest that the central question of a woman’s heart is, “Am I lovely?” As Donna Thoennes notes in her review, “Thankfully, God loves us out of his own loving character, not because we are lovely and incite that love. This should be a relief to us. …Women may think that they want to be lovely…but true security lies in the truth that we are loved in Christ whether [or not] we look or act lovely.”

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